Mary Boleyn is often overshadowed by her famous sister Anne, yet her life at the Tudor court was no less intriguing. Known in popular culture as “The Other Boleyn Girl,” Mary has long been a figure of myth, speculation, and historical fiction. But beyond the rumors and romanticized portrayals lies the story of a woman who navigated scandal, courtly politics, and personal sacrifice in one of the most volatile periods of English history.
In this episode, we explore the real Mary Boleyn—her role in the French and English courts, her controversial relationships, her quiet rebellion through marriage, and the legacy she left behind.
Transcript of Mary Boleyn: The Real Story Behind Henry VIII’s Forgotten Mistress
We are gonna talk today about Mary Boleyn. Mary Boleyn gets a lot of press as the other Boleyn girl, everything like that. And we are going to dig into her real life, what we know about her, what we don’t, the truth behind some of the myths.
Mary Boleyn is one of the most misunderstood women of the Tudor court. Her name often surfaces as a footnote in the stories of others, mistress to Henry VIII, sister Anne Boleyn, the other Boleyn girl. Over time, she’s been reshaped into a character of fiction portrayed alternately as a pawn, a seductress, or even a victim.
But when we step away from the novels and the films, what remains is a quieter and more complex story, one shaped less by scandal and more by survival. The truth is, very little contemporary documentation survives about Mary’s life. She doesn’t leave behind letters or memoirs. We don’t have direct quotes from her, and even the most talked about moments, her alleged affairs with two kings are only thinly supported by sources.
That silence, though, is precisely what makes her so fascinating. Her story has been filled in by others for centuries, and so in this episode, we will look at what we do know and what we can reasonably conclude.
This isn’t about sensational claims or rehashing old rumors. It’s about piecing together the factual evidence and placing Mary Boleyn back into the context of her time, not as a dramatic foil to her famous sister, but as a woman who lived through the rise and fall of one of the most ambitious families in Tudor England.
Early Life and Family Background
Mary Boleyn was likely born around 1499 or 1500. She was the eldest surviving child of Thomas Boleyn and Elizabeth Howard. Her father was of course a rising diplomat, skilled in languages, court maneuvering, and her mother came from one of the most powerful noble families in England.
Elizabeth was the daughter of Thomas Howard, 2nd Duke of Norfolk, placing Mary within one of the most influential networks at court. The Boleyns were not yet among the great houses of England, but they were rapidly gaining ground, thanks largely to Thomas Boleyn’s ambition and skill.
Mary’s early life would have reflected her family’s social aspirations. As the daughter of a diplomat and courtier, she would’ve received the kind of education expected of a noble woman – reading, writing, music, French, perhaps a little smattering of Latin, some household accounts.
Some sources suggest she spent time in the household of Margaret of Austria in the Netherlands like her sister Anne did. This would’ve been a prestigious placement for a young noblewoman. But that claim is actually definitely documented for her sister Anne. But it’s also plausible that Mary may have been sent abroad even briefly.
Life at the French Court
Now, in 1514, Mary was selected to join the household of Mary Tudor, Henry VIII’s younger sister, as she traveled to France to marry King Louis XII. The Princess’s entourage included several young women of noble birth intended both to serve and to represent English grace and learning at the French court.
When Mary Tudor returned to England just months later, after the French King died, Mary Boleyn remained behind. Now in the service of the French court and the new King Francis I, this marked the beginning of one of the most discussed and debated chapters of her life. Mary’s time at the French court is one of the murkiest and most mythologized parts of her life.
What we know for certain is that she remained in France after Mary Tudor’s brief queenship ended with the death of Louis XII, that was in early 1515. Mary Tudor returned to England to marry Charles Brandon, and have all of that happen, and Mary Boleyn stayed behind entering the service of Queen Claude, the wife of the new King.
She remained in France for several years, likely until about 1519. Now, it’s during this time that rumors began to swirl that Mary had become the mistress of Francis. The most often cited piece of evidence is a statement reportedly made by the King, in which he referred to her as his English mare, saying that she was a great whore, the most infamous of all, and had been passed from one man to another.
This quote is often repeated, but its authenticity is questionable. It appears in the writings of later chroniclers, not in contemporary court documents, and its tone reflects the kind of scurrilous gossip that often attached itself to women at court, especially foreign ladies-in-waiting who returned home with tarnished reputations.
There’s no surviving French documentation, court records or letters that confirm an affair between Mary and Francis. Accusation is circumstantial, bolstered by nothing more than gossip, and the fact that Francis was known for his sexual appetites. It’s worth noting also that Mary Boleyn returned to England without disgrace.
If she had been embroiled in a serious scandal, it’s unlikely she would’ve been accepted back into court life, let alone married off to a respectable courtier shortly thereafter. Her time in France stands in contrast to her sister Anne’s. Anne arrived in France a bit later and spent nearly seven years there gaining fluency in French and exposure to continental humanism and courtly culture.
While Mary’s reputation was marred by whispers of sexual impropriety, Anne was remembered at least by later supporters for her wit, refinement, and intelligence. These differing narratives would follow both sisters for the rest of their lives shaping how they were seen by their contemporaries.
And by history, by us today, Mary returned to England around 1519 or 1520, likely as part of the changing political landscape, following England’s shifting alliances with France and Spain. Despite whatever rumors may have accompanied her, there’s no indication that her return was scandalous or unwelcome.
She reentered court life and by February 1520, she was married to William Carey, a well-connected member of the King’s Privy Chamber. Carey was a gentleman of the court with ties to some of the most powerful noble families in England, and a cousin of the king through the Beaufort line. The match was socially advantageous and the king himself attended the wedding.
Affair with Henry VIII
Following her marriage. Mary served as a lady-in-waiting to Katherine of Aragon, a position that placed her directly at the heart of the royal court. It also placed her within the orbit of Henry VIII, who is believed to have begun a sexual relationship with Mary sometime during the early 1520’s, likely after her marriage to Carey, and probably between 1522 and 1525.
The exact dates are of course impossible to pin down. It’s not like somebody was writing it down it saying, this is exactly when it began, and the affair itself is very poorly documented.
Unlike Henry’s earlier mistress, Bessie Blunt, Mary never received royal acknowledgement of any of the children that may have resulted from the relationship, which of course leads to lots of murky ideas about Catherine Carey and the relationship that she had with Elizabeth later. Lettice Knollys comes from that line.
It really plays out interestingly in the next generation, and we just don’t know if she was Henry’s child or not. There are no surviving letters between Mary and the king. And contemporary records are very quiet on the subject. The main evidence comes from a single comment made later by Henry himself who acknowledged before the annulment of his marriage to Katherine that he had known Mary carnally, and that was enough to raise canonical concerns when he later sought to marry her sister Anne.
Still at the time of the affair, Mary would have been a minor player in the court’s power dynamics. Now when her sister Anne’s rise drew political attention, Mary’s connection to the king remained quiet, undocumented, and eventually largely forgotten. The affair between Mary Boleyn and Henry VIII remains one of the most debated episodes in her life, largely because of how little documentation exists.
There aren’t any letters, there aren’t court records that describe the relationship. The primary piece of evidence is Henry’s own admission made years later during debates over his marriage to Anne, that he had once had relations with Anne’s sister Mary. In canon law that placed Anne within a prohibited degree of affinity and opponents of the marriage used it as an argument against the union.
While Henry’s acknowledgement made it clear that the affair did occur, the timeline is uncertain. Most historians, like I said, place it somewhere between 1522 and 1525. During the early years of Mary’s marriage to William Carey, she had been visibly present at court taking part in events like the famous Chateau Vert Pageant in 1522, where both she and Anne performed in the lavish allegory of female virtues. It’s likely that the King’s interest developed around this time.
Despite the royal affair, Mary Boleyn herself didn’t receive the kinds of overt rewards or recognition given to Henry’s other mistresses, but her husband, William Carey, did benefit from royal favor. During the likely years of the relationship, he received lucrative grants of land and prestigious appointments, including positions in the King’s household.
One of the more intriguing pieces of commentary, it comes from the idea that Mary had been married off to William Carey to get rid of her, implying that the match may have been arranged to end the affair or keep it quiet. Now whether that’s true or not, it’s clear that Carey’s advancement coincided with the king’s known interest in Mary.
These indirect benefits suggest that the relationship may have had political or financial rewards for those around Mary. Even if she herself did not leave court with land titles or lasting influence. And while it’s tempting to see Carey’s rise as proof of the affairs timeline, it’s also true that his family connections and court position made him a rising figure in his own right. And so like with so much of Mary’s story, the truth likely lies somewhere in between the gossip and the official record.
Mary’s two children, Catherine born in 1524, and Henry born around 1526, have prompted speculation over whether either might have been Henry’s illegitimate offspring. The question is particularly pointed regarding Henry Carey, who bore a striking resemblance to the king in later portraits.
However, Henry never acknowledged either of Mary’s children as his own in a reign where illegitimacy was not necessarily a barrier to royal favor. This silence is significant. It’s possible that the children were William Carey’s. It’s also possible that if one or both were the King’s, Henry simply chose not to recognize them.
Perhaps because the relationship with Mary had been too brief or politically inconvenient. What can be said with certainty is that Mary remained at court during this period, balancing the roles of wife, courtier, and former royal mistress.
She didn’t gain a lot in terms of advancements, but her connection to Henry, however short-lived, would have later consequences for her position. Particularly once Anne Boleyn began her own rise to power.
Widowhood and Second Marriage
In 1528, Mary’s husband William died suddenly during an outbreak of the sweating sickness. His death left Mary in a precarious financial position as a widow with two young children and no significant inheritance. She was dependent on her family and the goodwill of others.
For a time, it appears that her sister Anne, who was then rapidly gaining influence with the King, arranged a small annuity for Mary, possibly through Thomas Boleyn’s influence at court. Anne also took some responsibility for the education of Mary’s children, especially Henry, who was later raised with the support of the King and received an excellent education.
Mary’s fortunes declined even further in 1534 when she made a decision that would alienate her from her powerful family entirely. Sometime that year, she secretly married William Stafford, a soldier of modest rank and means. The marriage wasn’t sanctioned by her family, and certainly not by her sister, who was by then Queen of England.
Thomas Boleyn and Anne reacted with fury. Not only had Mary married beneath her station, but she had done so without seeking permission, defying the courtly and familial structures that had shaped her life. As a result, Mary was banished from court.
She was cut off financially, and Anne, despite her own position as Queen, refused to support her. In a surviving letter that Mary wrote to Thomas Cromwell around this time, she described her situation with a quiet dignity. She admitted that she had married for love, knowing the consequences, and expressed regret that she had angered her family, but not regret for the marriage itself.
Mary and William withdrew from court life entirely. They may have lived for a time at Rochford Hall in Essex, one of the Boleyn family properties, or possibly on land belonging to Stafford’s relatives. There’s no indication that they had any children together.
Her absence from court coincided with the most turbulent years of Anne’s reign. When Anne was arrested and executed in 1536, there’s no record of Mary’s reaction or whether she was even allowed to be present by that point. She had faded completely from public life.
Final Years and Legacy
Her name no longer appeared in court lists or household accounts. The woman who had once stood beside queens and kings had slipped into obscurity. After her fall in 1534, Mary lived the rest of her life largely out of sight. While many in her position would’ve tried to maneuver their way back into favor, Mary didn’t.
She seems to have embraced a quieter existence with her second husband. Their exact movements are hard to trace, but they spent time in the countryside and she was completely away from court. Never saw Anne again as far as it’s recorded.
Mary’s financial situation was also modest. She received little support from her relatives and her marriage to a man of lower rank meant she no longer held a position in the aristocratic households where she had once served. But there’s no evidence that she tried to return to court or seek renewed favor from her family. Unlike her sister Anne or her daughter Catherine, Mary didn’t leave a strong political or social footprint in her later years.
Mary died on July 19, 1543. She was around 43 or 44 years old. There’s no surviving tomb or epitaph to mark her resting place. Though she’s believed to have been buried at the parish church of St. Martin’s in the field in London, which of course has since been rebuilt.
Her death went unrecorded in major chronicles of the time, yet through her children, particularly Catherine and Henry, Mary’s lineage lasted. Both would rise in favor under Elizabeth I, and through them Mary would become the ancestor of numerous British and European noble familie
Mary’s reputation has been shaped by more fiction than fact. For much of the 20th and 21st century, she’s been reimagined through novels, films, and television, either as a passive victim or a calculating seductress, popular portrayals like The Other Boleyn Girl have taken liberties with her life, blending rumor with invention until the historical figures nearly lost beneath the fiction.
In truth, Mary was neither especially prominent, nor especially scandalous by Tudor standards. Her brief affair with Henry didn’t elevate her or her children that much. She seems to have spent most of her adult life outside the central mechanisms of power compared to her sister Anne, who left behind a political legacy and reams of contemporary commentary.
Mary passed through the court with relatively little notice, what survives of her voice is rare. The letters she wrote to Thomas Cromwell in 1534 pleading her case after marrying William Stafford is perhaps the most authentic glimpse we have into her character, and it reveals a woman who knows that she had offended powerful people, but who valued her independence and her personal happiness over ambition.
In an age where women were often pawns and family advancement, Mary made a choice that cost her everything, and she stood by it. Today, historians are beginning to revisit Mary Boleyn with fresh eyes, not as a foil to Anne or historical curiosity, but as a woman shaped by the complex expectations of Tudor court life.
Her story offers a counterpoint to the narratives of ambition and downfall that dominate the period. She didn’t rise to the top, but she also didn’t break under the weight of what happened around her. And that in and of itself, my friends, I think is worth remembering.
Heather Teysko is the creator, writer, and producer of The Renaissance English History Podcast, the original Tudor history podcast, started in 2009. She's been writing about history online for over 25 years, since her first site on Colonial American history became number one in history on Yahoo in 1998. In 2019 she created Tudorcon, which is now a yearly event, in addition to writing books, and running TudorFair.com - a whimsical Tudor Merch shop.
She has been passionate about Tudor England since she first read Alison Weir's The Six Wives of Henry VIII 30 years ago, and subsequently moved to London after college to spend her time immersed in Tudor history (how exciting when she got to interview Alison for the first time!). In addition to history, she is passionate about travel, and has lived in 3 countries and 4 states (not counting her perpetual state of confusion), and her family (who help her host her YouTube channel occasionally).
